Cristiano Ronaldo will not Leave Manchester United And the Simple Math that Proves It

July 4, 2008

Despite more ridiculous garbage coming out of Marca saying that Ronaldo, his mum and Abraham Lincoln are due for medicals at Real any minute now, I can assure all of you faithful readers that Cristiano Ronaldo is officially going nowhere. In many ways, the situation reminds me a lot of what`s happening in the states right now with the election- something that is quite obvious is being shied away from in an effort to make the situation look tenuous and seemingly poised on the head of a pin. Obama is way ahead of McCain (despite what CNN makes it look like) and Cristiano Ronaldo will not be playing in all white next year.

Simply mountain out of a molehill stuff and the reasons for Ronaldo not leaving are really quite obvious- money. Despite our debts, United have no real financial problems and our profits have never been quite so high. So, for us to sell Ronaldo for a world record 70 million means that we would likely have to go out and spend the entire thing on new players. Every team in the world knows that if United sold Ronaldo they would be flush with cash and desperate to land the signatures of top notch players before the end of the transfer window and thereby get ripped off hardcore. If we were looking for Schweinsteiger there would easily be an additional 8 or 9 million added on to his price just because clubs know we`ve got the money and we need the player. Supply dictates demand and we would be highly demanding something in finite supply and therefore we`d get ripped off. The Glaziers didn`t get as rich as they are by selling high and then buying higher.

And look at how Ronny`s supposed “I want to leave“ rhetoric has completely stopped since the Euro ended. Now that he isn`t constantly surrounded with foreign press (who seemingly hear what they want to hear) things have cooled right off and he`s even met with our medical staff. I predict that he will get surgery and return to the team in October or mid September.

It looks like all signs are pointing to Berbatov for our new signing. More on that to come.

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Why Cristiano Ronaldo’s Transfer Could Mean Schweinsteiger and Podolski are Manchester United Bound

June 25, 2008

I haven’t been able to post in a while as I’ve been busy working on an exciting new football blog project that will be launching in the next few weeks. I’ll be sure to bring you more details about that once the time is right. However, I figured I had to weigh in on the status of Cristiano Ronaldo’s seemingly unstoppable transfer to Real Madrid.

I’m not gonna shit on the guy as a player, I can’t belittle his contribution from last year and he is truly one of the world’s greatest players, if not the most exciting. However, if he really wants to alienate the fans, insult our manager and basically turn himself into a pariah during his exit; then he is more than entitled to do so. If we get a fair price for him (the 70 million pound vicinity sounds about right) then I’m more than happy to let him go. If he is willing to piss everybody off in this manner, then the guy must really want it. He could have stayed and become a United legend and truly one of the all-time greats, but it appears as though that doesn’t interest him. I am confident that I know the answer as to why.

He is supposedly now engaged to Nereida Gallardo and I am positive that she has her heart set on becoming one of Spain’s biggest celebrities and that will require Cristiano signing up as the newest, greatest Galactico. Face it, once he shacked up with her, his whole tone changed. Guys will do weird things if it means that they can bang a model on the regular.

If he stays he stays, if he goes he goes, but I would much rather see him leave than stick around and stink up the place or unsettle other members of the team. I am pretty sure that Fergie and the Glaziers have enough pride to not let Madrid get away with what they have been obviously trying to do. We don’t have to sell, Manchester United aren’t a selling club. But I say if he’s going to be a dick about it, then sell him and cash the hell in.

Lukas Podolski is being linked heavily with Tottenham. I think he is exactly the type of striker we’re looking to bring into the side and I wouldn’t be surprised if Fergie was busy in the background trying to make something happen. There hasn’t been a great deal of United transfer news since we missed out on Aaron ‘retard’ Ramsey and I think that may have something to do with Carlos Quieroz’s potential ascension to the Portugal job. I don’t think he will leave, but if he does I would immediately put a bet on Keano as next Man United manager.

Shweinsteiger is a football manager favourite and he will fill Ronaldo’s shoes ably. He is more of a traditional winger but possesses the eye for goal that our style of play requires. Him and Podolski would add some continental class to the United side and it is pretty obvious that they are both looking to GTFO of the Bundesliga ASAP.

If Ronaldo goes, we can fill his shoes with these two and be better off because of it. And I imagine we’ll likely have another 25 million or so kicking around in change. Maybe we could put that towards lowering ticket prices.


Transfer News: Aaron Ramsey Set to be Manchester United’s New Summer Signing

June 3, 2008

It seems as though this kid has been garnering praise and adulation for most of the season as England’s new stand-out youth player set to launch himself onto the world stage. As soon as the season ended the countdown was on and as you can see, Fergie & Co. have already jumped on the Cardiff teenager. There are rumors swirling that Arsenal have also had a bid accepted, but if Ramsey has any hopes of playing for the English national team, he knows that Old Trafford is the only real destination.

Since he’s being loaned back to Cardiff for next season, he will likely make his united debut in the 09/10 season (jesus that sounds futuristic). He’ll be taking to the field with Rooney, Ferdinand, Carrick and Hargreaves and this exposure to the upper echelons of English footballers will do wonders for the boys confidence and technical ability. Fergie’s system has churned out so many excellent young players, that a well-developed lad like Ramsey could very well be the jewel in Sir Alex’s cap upon retirement. I also think that Fergie’s trump card will be playing the Welsh card. Giggsy will likely be dispatched to convince the kid to sign on the dotted line. Ramsey is a Welshman and there aren’t many held in higher esteem that Welsh Wizard they call Giggsy.

There is a faint scent of Michael Owen about the place. I hope that we can wrap up the deal shortly. The kid would be retarded to go to Arsenal.


Transfer Rumor: Who Will Manchester United Sign In the Summer of 08? Robinho, Luis Fabiano or Klaas Jan Huntelaar?

May 29, 2008

Every summer that there’s a major international tournament, a large volume of transfer that normally wouldn’t go through turn into done deals quite quickly. This is compounded by the nearly 50 million pounds shelled out just in the past week or two on just three players- Jose Boswinga for Chelsea, Luka Modric at Spurs and Arsenal’s soon-to-sign Samir Nasri (who is supposed to be the business, but a bit of a diver).

For me, Man United should really be doing better to put Chelsea off from Robinho. I think he’d be a good addition to the side and he would give us that out and out finisher that we currently lack, along with the ability to fit into our fast-paced style of play. He also fits in with this Portuguese contingent that is being instilled in our squad. Robinho hasn’t really developed as an outstanding finisher in Spain, but I think he would be well-suited to the Premier League. Pace and tricks in abundance, I think he would be able to link up much better with our crew than the crap they’ve got going on down at Chelsea.

A lot of people are floating the idea of Luis Fabiano of Sevilla. While there is no doubting the Brazilian’s ability, he doesn’t have a demonstrated track record of success. His stays in French and Portuguese football were both nothing to write home about. However, when he was at Sao Paolo a few years ago he had a real tendency to get involved in scraps and brawls as he really seemed to enjoy winding up opponents. Might fit in well at Chelsea, but I think that he may detract from our style of play a bit. Either way, I’d like to see more of the guy. I would take Robinho over Fabiano though, at this point in time.

Klaas Jan Huntelaar remains a name perpetually linked with United. What else can you say about the Dutchmaster? A slick finisher and a real poacher of goals. He can run at a defense as well, but I can see Fergie wanting to start him off as an impact substitute and then somehow embedding him into the Rooney, Ronaldo and Tevez consortium. With three or four different contrasting styles of football running at a defense all at the same time I think we may very well have teams from up and down the English countryside cleaning Hershey-squirts out of their Nike shorts.

Either way, I expect only two signings this summer. One high-profile and the other an emerging player.
Euro 2008 could always offer up another heroic set of performances from players you’ve never heard of before.


Transfer Rumors: Who is Manchester United Looking to Sign During the 2008 Summer? Micah Richards, Michael Owen, Klaas Jan Huntelaar or Dimitar Berbatov?

May 12, 2008

With David Gill confirming to all media parties today that Fergie will be provided with whatever funds he needs to strengthen to squad, the time has come to start the silly stuff- transfer speculation. The Andrewisahater blog was founded on transfer speculation (and leaked jersey photos) so its something we take pretty seriously around here.

Last season saw us purchase a dearth of midfield talent alongside the rights to Carlos Tevez. This year, an out and out goalscorer and defensive reinforcements seem to be the immediate priority. Currently, the names being touted are all (relatively) proven commodities with the odd surprise thrown in along the way.

MICHAEL OWEN

To be honest, I think that Michael Owen is the oddest selection up there. Presumably we have already made a bid for him, and I know he’s keen for a move away from St. James Park. However, we would effectively be purchasing him as a replacement for Louis Saha- a striker who has seen his better days and is incredibly injury prone. Sound like somebody else you know? To be honest, I think Owen would likely be spending the entire season about two feet away from being ruled offside. Our team is about dropping deep, assuming positions and then executing precision movements. Owen seems somebody who is good at banging the ball into the net, but not much else. I am unconvinced that he would add an element to the team. However, if he was content to be used as an impact substitute, I think he may be worth a punt for under 10 million.

MICAH RICHARDS

I think that Richards is a long-term successor to Gary Neville and I think he would be the perfect compliment to Evra on the opposite flank. Both can get forward, score goals and create them; while offering up effective defending options at the same time. My only problem with the pursuit of Richards is that his appearance (and subsequent drop directly into the first team) would probably unsettle Wes Brown, who has been immense in the latter part of the season. His price tag will be high, but this player is quickly becoming an established England International and he would continue our tradition of fostering English talent. It would also put a smile on my face to snake Man City’s best player right out from under their noses.

KLAAS JAN HUNTELAAR

He has been linked with us for the past few summers and while the hideous Dutchman is a proven goal-threat, I am unsure whether he is up to our quality and whether he would actually compliment our existing squad. A different type of player to Rooney and Tevez, Huntelaar would offer some new options going forward, but I’m unconvinced at the end of the day about whether he would be worth the money.

DIMITAR BERBATOV

This guy will not be playing for Spurs next summer, that much is true. However, I’m also not sure whether he’ll wind up at Old Trafford or not. I don’t really know if, mentally and personality-wise, he would be able to fit in with the rest of the dressing room. He seems prone to sulking and disappearing acts, however, his goal threat can’t be underestimated. He is a classy player at his best and an irritating sod at his worst. I think he is a similar player to Anelka- somebody I am extremely happy we didn’t sign last year. Berbatov’s approach to goalscoring is effective, but I don’t know if it exudes the confidence and class that I expect from a Man U player.

Anyways, I’ll be sure to keep my eyes and ears peeled and if any movement happens, we will be among the first places to get it online. Guaranteed.