Cristiano Ronaldo Leaving Manchester United? Don’t Bet on It

June 2, 2008

The whole Ronaldo thing is really quite simple and there’s three different ways it’s going to get resolved. All of them depend on the motivation of why, exactly, Ronaldo is saying one thing to the English press and another to the Spanish. What this does demonstrate, just from the outset, is the fact that Ronaldo is a shrewd media operator. Not made in the affable “aw, shucks” mold of David Beckham, he is as calculating as any girl you’d see on the Hills.

A) He really does want to leave. If Ronaldo really does want to go, it’s because he thinks he’s accomplished all he can at Manchester United (prem title, league’s best player, Champs league). I think this is bogus because he’s really only had one truly outstanding season and we will find out next year whether this was a one-off or not. He may also want to leave because he thinks he’ s bigger than the club… And I personally don’t think even Cristiano’s narcissism is at that level… Yet.

B) He wants to stay, he just enjoys the attention. This is the one I’m hoping for. I have a feeling that a lot of the media coverage happens to be due to Euro 2008 starting this week and the Spanish and Portuguese press needing something exciting to talk about. He keeps them guessing by playing coy about everything and this may be a subtle way to segue into option C.

C) He wants more money. This is the most likely reason why he’s doing what he’s doing. Abd I can kind of see where he’s coming from with this one as, in his mind, he was being paid the same amount when he was a 15 goals a season man with a few assist here and there. Now he’s racked up almost 50 goals and become the league’s best player. While he is being handsomely rewarded as it is, he is likely looking to become the league’s highest paid player. And there is a legitimate argument for that.

I believe that Fergie is right to come out guns-blazing (or Glazing) when he insists that the team’s owners would happily sit Ronaldo in the stands rather than sell him to Real Madrid just because he wants to spend more time on the beach and become the Spanish Press’ favorite person for the next few months until some Spanish soap star falls off a balcony or gets addicted to coke and everybody forgets about C. Ronaldo and the unimpressive year he’s having adjusting to the monotony and crap that goes on in the Spanish league. I don’t think Real should be reported to UEFA, but I do think they are crossing the line a bit by using their proxies at the Marca to unsettle Cristiano and keep the media attention on him. If he wants to leave, I think it will take a cool 150 million pounds to force the move. I think the Glaziers are that stubborn. And good on them for that. A PLC would jump at the chance to sell Ronaldo for 70 million. The Glaziers simply don’t have to think that way, luckily enough for us United fans.

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Chelsea self-destruct as Manchester United beat them 2-0! Check out the highlights!

September 24, 2007

My oh my! A shambles from the Chavs as Avram Grant’s first game in charge sees Chelsea produce arguably their worst performance since the Ranieri days. Me and my girlfriend both got up early to watch the match (in western Canada, the matches start at 7 or 8 am) and we were definitely not disappointed. It’s unfortunate that so much attention was levied on Mike Dean and his relatively weak officiating because, personally, I thought our lads did an incredible job- especially in the opening 30 minutes. That Pete Gill moron over at Football365 said that Fergie’s comment that our first 30 minutes was the best we’d played all year served as a testament as to just how bad we’d been. Fuck that guy and his gooner-bias. Our defence didn’t concede a shot on target, let alone a goal. Carrick had his best game of the year and he really does bring a different element to our game. A much more complete player than David Beckham ever was, Carrick can play lazer-guided long balls, but can also beat a man and (gasp) defend. Even better, we don’t have to stick this guy out wide- he can play in central midfield.

Tevez got off the mark deep in first-half injury time and he made the chavs pay for some of those sloppy clearances. A diving header right in front of the Stretford End- not a bad way to open your United account eh?

Vidic was absolutely immense and worked well in tandem with Ferdinand again. Rio didn’t have a single calamity moment and his distribution was key throughout the entire match. Ronaldo unsettled Chelsea’s defence, while Rooney would have scored in the 2nd minute against virtually any other keeper in the league except for perhaps Shay Given.

It really must be emphasized what an absolutely shit manager that Avram Grant is. He’s about as qualified to manage in England as I am and every single move he made I called 10 minutes before. Starting with Shevchenko alone up-front indicates that Abramovich wants somebody managing the team that he can influence entirely. There’s no way in the goddamn universe that Andriy Shevchenko can handle Man U’s backline by himself. Starting with Pizarro and Shevchenko would have been much smarter, but we can’t take away the thunder from the Russian contingent can we? Andriy Shevchenko is the biggest waste of money in the history of the Premier League, trumping our own idiotic purchase of Seba Veron.

Saha’s penalty was a penalty. Fact. Yeah, he went to ground easy, but Ben Haim committed a sloppy foul in the box and Saha capitalized. If it was Shevchenko hurling himself to the ground in the 89th minute in the exact same set of circumstances, Chelsea fans would be calling Grant a tactical genius. Or at least texting each other saying “Grnt iz fkin’ brlnt ennit!”

John Terry should have been red-carded as well for attempting to hold down the referee’s arm when he was trying red-card Obi Mikel (karma’s a bitch eh Jon?).

While I am too smart to write off a team after one shitty performance, Chelsea had better shape-up and fast. I always liked Jose Mourinho and I was sad to see him go. Although it may be hard to believe, in January, Roman Abramovich could be saying the exact same thing.


My prediction on Manchester United’s Carlos Teves situation

July 24, 2007

Alright, so now that things aren’t changing every few hours (i.e- BBC says Tevez move agreed, Soccernet says West Ham know nothing, Dailymirror says Kia is arrested etc. etc.), it looks like the Tevez situation has settled down and will either be solved by the end of the transfer window or it won’t happen at all. While I’m not a huge expert on football, I have a theory as to what is going to happen and I haven’t heard anybody mention it yet. So here goes….

Tevez will be unveiled as a Man U player within three weeks. West Ham own his registration, but do not own the rights to his transfer. They effectively got the player for free, paid nothing for him and yet they claim he is registered for four years? Bullshit. The people at MSI are in this to make money, not give away 30 million pounds for nothing. West Ham lied about the contract (it is obviously not legally binding) but the Premier League believed them. So, West Ham have been dragging their feet on this because they know they’ve been found out. If they sanctioned the transfer, they wouldn’t get any money and they would effectively have been found out. West Ham have pretty much been playing dumb about the whole thing since the jump off.

So, Eggert Magnusson (the guy who owns West Ham) said that he believes will leave soon. This means that some deal was struck between West Ham and United over the weekend. My theory is that it all boils down to Alan Smith.

West Ham, knowing Tevez doesn’t want to play for them (and probably doesn’t have to anyway), will loan Alan Smith for 2 years with a relatively modest fee (4-5 million) to be paid upon completion, whereupon he will become a West Ham player. Tevez will move to United in a similar arrangement, however, his fee will command something like 25 million pounds. During this two year period, West Ham will purchase the rights to Tevez from MSI and thus own the player outright once the transfer is completed. This guarantees that West Ham will receive a transfer fee for Tevez (albeit in two years time) and they won’t have to worry about being without a striker for the short term.

I think it’s a good deal on both sides. What do you think?

This is my theory and I’m pretty sure that is how it’s gonna go down.


Manchester United may not sign Tevez… yet… So, what now?

July 12, 2007

With the news on the Tevez front getting seemingly more depressing by the day, I can’t help but be the first to ask- what now? Are we even gonna sign the guy? Should we just cut our losses now and try to move for somebody else or are we willing to wait until January or worse, July?

I seriously think Tevez does not want to go back to West Ham and I heard a rumor somewhere that the Hammer’s have already evicted Tevez and the 11 members of his family that live with him from their London hotel and yet the Egg (ert Magnusson) refuses to acknowledge anything about a possible Tevez transfer and it leaves me wondering how much the guy actually knows about football.

Have Man Utd tapped up Tevez inadvertantly? Does this effectively prove Sheffield United’s point that West Ham stayed in the Premiership illegally this term? West Ham insists they own Tevez’s registration and the FA obviously share that opinion, but Kia Joorabchian insists that the deal is going to be done through him and the deal itself is complete. Honestly ask yourself who would know more in this situation- a biscuit-billionaire and his lawyers or Carlos goddamn Tevez and his management people…. I guess what I’m asking is why would Joorabchian and Co. claim to represent Tevez when they don’t (according to West Ham and the FA).  That’s the really sketchy question here…

Man Utd’s people aren’t stupid and they obviously knew who to approach in regards to Tevez’s transfer if you know what I mean.

Does anybody else think that right now there might be a tiny little chance that we might see Paddy Kenny & the rest of the blades back in the Prem next year? I know it’s a long shot, but if this proves that West Ham really never had Tevez’s registration sorted, what would the repercussions be? My guess is either a 30 point points deduction to start the next season or a straight swap with the Blades. How stupid would Neil Warnock look then?

How much would everybody laugh at Craig Bellamy and his Championship-playing-in-ass.

God, so what would happen to Tevez if West Ham got relegated for never having held his registration in the first place, would be even really be eligible for a work permit anymore? Seriously, this thing is extremely onion-like in the peeling off the layers and the stinking and such. But I really do hope Carlos winds up at United, I think he’s just what we need- a proven solo match winner. If he can keep that shitty West Ham squad in the Premership single handedly he can certainly score at least 20 with us next year and obviously he wants to come… His managers want him to come… We all want him at Man U if the deal is above board… It seems like the only people who don’t want to let him leave are West Ham and do you think maybe that’s because they aren’t gonna see any of that 30 million pounds and be out one world-class striker?

Think about it


Surprise, surprise- BlogTV.ca sucks shit!

May 18, 2007

We’re Looking At Each Other and It’s Not A Pretty Site

 It’s been a busy week for the staff at Andrewisahater, freelance work has been piling up and Andrew hasn’t been able to blog as much as he would have liked. But, after reading this stellar article in today’s Globe & Mail and subsequently laughing my head off in agreement, I figured that I should probably share it with y’all. Did I just switch from third-person to first person in the same paragraph? Yeesh….

So, the article is about BlogTV.ca and I had definitely heard of the site, but had never been there. I remember about three years ago I got an idea similar to this and since I was 21, had no money, no business experience and smoked way too much pot; I obviously couldn’t put the project together. After reading this review, I kind of wished that I had been able to get financing (or even did a business plan…) because I sure as hell would have been able to put together a better site than this one.  You know how I know that? Because I know (and I knew then) that big rules of social media that people (especially VC people) never seem to understand is that if you open a community to all comers and don’t discriminate about the types of people using your site, you can quickly degenerate into a pathetic shitshow like Blogtv.ca. They simply allow anybody to stream live video and the bulk of it (according to the Globe Article) is either 17 year-old girls staring off into space “wassup”ing each other or it’s a 30 year old guy with a baseball hat and a mustache jerking off on his webcam- live to the world.

So, basically, I’m out.

I can just imagine the people who run that site sitting in a meeting with a bunch of 50-year old venture capitalist guys who have their secretaries condense articles of Wired for them so they don’t actually have to read anything. The Blogtv people must have had a huddle before they went in and said something like “Okay, guys, these are venture capitalist guys; which means they don’t really understand what we do, but everything they read tells them that we’re the right type of investment.” One of the lower-rung guys probably said “well, what happens if they ask us a serious question.” the head guy must have said “If worse comes to worse, just keep repeating the word ‘community’ over and over again. It’ll work, trust me!”

Seriously, how can anybody expect to make anybody from a bunch of fucking idiots acting like fucking idiots for all of the wrong reasons? “Wow, there’s gross guy’s jerking off? Bookmark that shit!” Come on now people….

Social media sites (especially ones that allow live video-streaming) really need to be more discrimanatory in cases like this both for the benefit of users and the benefit of their financiers. I really hope the people who financed Blogtv.ca see that article and give their heads a shake. Social Media isn’t some magic fucking cash register where you can just hit a big button that says “user-generated crap” and a big stack of money flies out or something.  

My buddy J-bizzle does sales for one of the world’s top hosting companies and he says that on top of his regular clients he gets about 10 people a day who leave messages requesting a quote for servers for their new social-networking site that’s gonna make a lot of money. From what he tells me, most of them tend to go like this “Um, yeah, I have a uh…. site…. That’s a place where people share stuff and create profiles and, like… network. Um, I need a bunch of servers because we’re gonna try to get millions of users and stuff… Uh, it’s like myspace… but different like… yeah. Way different. People can share stuff and eventually they’ll pay for it… Yeah… So, uh…. I don’t really have a phone, so maybe I can just call you back. Yeah.”

Social media, in terms of money-making, is rapidly starting to resemble the Internet poker industry. Hear me out, you had a bunch of sites that all got in on the ground floor, did it right, and made monster cash seemingly out of nothing (partypoker-myspace). Then, you have a few other companies who manage to launch a successful site by making a few changes and marketing it properly. Some of the ones who came in at this time didn’t really work out, but a few others did. Okay, lots of money going around, lots of big sites. Then, the media catches on, business magazines catch on and suddenly it’s a get-rich-quick free-for-all and EVERYBODY is getting in on this. The next wave that comes around is regional sites- an online poker site for sweden, a social networking site for Arab countries etc etc. But after this phase, everything starts to get really really shitty. Internet poker has been there for about 3 or 4 years, and Social Networking has been in this phase for about 1.5 years. Hopefully, innovation will continue to drive the industry forward. Innovation could very well be the remedy to the fact that most people on the internet are total fucking dicks.


Times & Transcript online just keeps improving

May 11, 2007

So, Moncton’s Times & Transcript is improving their website. There’s been a lot of changes recently and you can tell everybody over there is really excited about it.

 Unfortunately, they don’t have any clue what they’re doing and this picture is my case in point. Dig it.
Pretty rough, indeed
Notice the shitty HTML coding with the “A” with the accent circonflex on top and then a trademark? Nice one guys, did you get 10 year olds to code your HTML for you or what, because 12 year olds can do it…

Seriously, only the Times & Transcript would have a big banner boasting of “improving your site” and then there’s cruddy coding in the headline link. How rough is that?

Well, the only thing rougher than that is this one headline the Transcript botched last summer. Keep in mind that this is the main headline on the editorial page, it’s supposed to say “GUN OWNERS BEING VICTIMIZED” but they printed it “GUN BEING OWNERS VICTIMIZED” Pretty friggin’ rough.

 The only thing worse is Here Magazine. Don’t even get me started.


Best CBC Headline EVER

May 3, 2007

Oh man, check this one out. You can tell the Chicago police department just doesn’t care. Legally imported skulls from China… wow, that sounds super legit.

HUMAN SKULL FOUND BOILING IN POT IN CHICAGO BUT IT’S OK: COPS